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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Pregnancy Hormones

So I decided that not very many people actually read my blog besides those i really know and so it was better for me to write this on here. Pregnancy has been great and I have been really thankful for how good I have felt. The only problem is that it makes your hormones like 10 million times worse then when your on your menstrual cycle. So I have been a bit emotional and all. This week has been especially rough. Last Sunday was really bad and I just had a day where all I wanted was my mom to be there to help me. I just wanted a second where she could pop her head in and let me know that everything will be ok. I know everything will and I know that she will be with me every second of the way but you just have those days sometimes. Nolan was really understanding and just let me have a bad day without judging me. I am doing much better and had a better week but I thought alot about my relationships with people that I care about and realized that I have put stress or ruined some relationships with some of the most important people in my life. I tried to think of what I did to make all this happen and I think I may have figured it out. I usually am very easy going and if something offends me or if I think that something that someone said isnt correct I usually hold my tongue and just acted like nothing happened even if it hurt me I wouldnt say anything. I worried more about taking care of others then taking care of myself. My emotions have been so crazy during this pregnancy I havent been able to first of all hold my tongue and second I have had to worry about my own feelings over others just so I could survive. I think that people who know me the best and have noticed this havent really known how to react and it has really put a damper on some relationships. I dont really know how to say sorry or apologize because I am still an emotional wreck. And I dont know if anyone reads these post but if someone does and If I have offended you in the last 6 months or so know that I am sorry. And know that the last thing I ever wanted to do is ruin relationships and hopefully I can fix anything I have said or done to offend you. To anyone else who read this sorry for the down post hopefully my next one will be pictures of my little man.