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Monday, July 6, 2009

Breaking down walls!

So I had the craziest week ever! Well crazy and amazing! I think in like 72 hours I slept like 9 hours! Yeah crazy! But really good! I wrote a post a while ago about not being to open up to people when I know they are leaving soon. And thank you all for your advice. It's really helped alot. Anyways one of my friends parents were at girls camp this week and she had to work so she couldnt go. She didnt want to sleep at her parents a lone so she just came and stayed at my apartment with me and my roomate. Well we were talking one night just in the living room and it was so good. I have to really trust someone for me to open up at all. Anyways we talked till 6:30 in the morning! Bah lol. It was really good though. Anyways then the next night we had earwigs everywhere downstairs. It was actually really really freaky. They gross me out. They have like this nasty pincher things for like their tails ew its nasty. Anyways so instead of her sleeping on the couch with the earwigs she just slept in my little twin bed with me. lol. I didnt know how little my bed was ha ha. Anyways it was probably the best thing ever though. We were just up talking and talking and I dont know what my problem was. I just started blurting out all my feelings to this poor girl. Like things I have never told anyone. I just layed there talking and bawling for like an hour! It was crazy lol. Cause I really dont cry that much! And I was just like out of control. And usually when this happens the person I am talking to has no idea what to do. And then I feel really stupid for opening up at all. But this time was different. She didnt say sorry she didint try to fix my life she just simply hugged and listened! It was so amazing. I feel a lot better. I was talking to my bishop like a week ago and he brought some stuff up about marriage. I kind of expressed to him that I know I am almost 22 but I am not living my life wishing I was married. And that I wasnt sure if I was even ready. He assured me I was ready and mature enough but asked me why I thought that. So I kind of explained to him some things I felt like I need to work out before I got married. All of them being emotional reasons. So he challenged me to start working on them. I feel like this week was a huge part of that. I have a lot more to work on but I am slowly slowly breaking down the walls I have built and kept up for so long and it is an amazing feeling. So thank you to my friend you are amazing and I am thankful that you let me just spill my guts to you! Thank you so much!
Anyways the fourth of july was great! We drove up to twin so see heather and it was a lot of fun! Zach was going crazy with all his fireworks. It was so funny and awesome! Thanks Zach! And heather the food was great! I always love going to twin cause heather feeds me so good! Thanks Heather! And I had a ton of fun with the girls Mallory and Sydney are the cutest girls ever! Love them! Sydney thinks my friends bridgets names is Midget lol I dont know why that is so funny. But I explained that her name was Bridget like a million times and then when we were leaving Syd said by midget ha ha! Anyways I love you guys! Thanks for letting me and Bridget come hang out with you guys!

1 comment:

Heather K said...

I'm so glad you came down to visit lonely me! I was seriously kinda sad when I realized no one was going to hang out with us for the 4th! It was fun to watch Zach light up all his fireworks! Love ya!